How do you tell your story?
Are you telling it as the victim or the survivor? WHAT?! You don’t know what I mean? Oh, ok, let me explain it to you.
When you tell your story in the “victim” status you are sad, depressed and act like things are the same as when you were abused with no changes in your life. You are unable to look past what happened to you and want others to feel sorry for you. You haven’t been able to move on with your life. You base your life on the “bad” things that have happened to you and not what YOU have done to change it.
When you tell your story in the “survivorship” status, you tell it as it had happened in the past. When talking about it, you don’t want others to feel sorry for you, you know it’s over and there is nothing you can do to change the past. You are now telling your story only to those who either ask or you think it may help as you have personal experience in the matter. You now have “power” that you never had before as the “victim”. You no longer blame anyone, you forgive everyone and you have moved on to bigger and better things in life.
So, how are you telling your story?
After writing my story I have had people ask me why I’m not mad, angry, hurt or want vengeance anymore. They want to know why they can’t get past it. I tell them the same thing that I am going to tell you now.
You see, you can’t compare yourself to me or anyone else. Things are NOT always greener on the other side of the fence. In my case it took me YEARS to get to where I am today. Why? Because I didn’t know things that I know now.
For instance, did you know that there are national hotline numbers for different types of abuse? I didn’t. I will list them now:
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network Sexual Assault Hotline
1.800.656.4673 | www.rainn.org
National Child Abuse Hotline
1.800.422.4453 | www.childhelp.org
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.7233 | www.ndvh.org
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
1.866.331.9474 | www.loveisrespect.org
When I was abused as a child and then as an adult, I didn’t know there were programs out there to help me. Of course, I didn’t even know what I was going through was considered abuse as it was all familiar territory for me.
Don’t get over-thinking that you can’t do something just because you have never done it before.
* Get professional help, if you need it
* Listen to others without judgement
* Forgive yourself and your abusers
* Get knowledge
4) Other people
Everyone is different so your steps to survivorship are going to be different. I may have taken one path, but that doesn’t mean it’s the one for you. I can only tell you what I did to be the survivor I am today. I can only show you what worked for me. I can help you find your own path but you have to be ready to travel it.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Anonymous
I hope this has helped you. Please let me know what I can do to help you find your path from victim status to survivorship status.